Lucky

The other night, Matt and I were laying on the couch watching Euphoria and I journeyed down an internet – Google, Facebook, Instagram – rabbit hole. Reading cancer blogs, cancer meme accounts, following other people’s hair growth journeys, articles about the statistics of recurrences, deep, deep rabbit hole. All of a sudden I was overcome with emotion and started to cry. I was crying for the shitty situation that I am in, and for the people who have it worse than me.

I hate the idea of comparing my cancer situation to anyone else’s, because everyone’s journey is so unique, but it feels impossible not to. I tried to explain to Matt that I was crying because even though it sucks that I have cancer, we are so lucky that everything has gone so smoothly up to this point. My side effects haven’t been so awful, my hair is starting to grow back, my doctors are happy with my progress, it’s all good things! Yes, it sucks to even be in this situation in the first place, but everyone has their sh!t, that’s life! I would never want to say that my situation is better or worse than anyone else’s, my sentiments do not have to be at the expense of someone else’s misfortune. I can’t help but feel lucky for where I am today.