There is no denying that cancer sucks. It has completely altered everything in my life. Treatments are time consuming, annoying and make me feel awful for days. I can’t do what I want to do when I want to do it. I am completely bald. Already, I have missed dinners with friends, bachelorette parties and haven’t been able to get excited about the upcoming summer because I can’t predict how I am going to feel. It sucks.
BUT, I keep reminding myself that it doesn’t suck ALL the time. I have been so lucky that, up to this point, my side effects haven’t been completely debilitating or long-lasting. When I feel up to it, Matt and I can still do normal things. We have been able to host and go out to dinner with friends and family, attend Aidan’s school auction and new parent’s night, spend time with our friends’ new baby boy, meet for happy hours, take our kids to the park, etc.
One night this week, after dinner, Matt and I sat on our balcony, opened a bottle of wine, and just sat chatting and listening to music. It was so normal but it felt so special. If I wasn’t dealing with all of this “cancer stuff” I don’t know that I would have appreciated that moment as much.
When I’m feeling crappy or frustrated by the circumstances, I need to let myself have those moments, and then quickly remind myself to focus on the good things because it could always be worse. Even though I have cancer, that doesn’t take away from all of the other amazing things in my life. Cancer definitely sucks, but not all the time.